Walking down the Willington Island Marina pushing our kids in their prams last Saturday , my husband and I were suddenly shaken out of our reverie by hoots and catcalls. Turning around, I saw a group of men cycle by. Well into their late 50s , they were all carousing out together to prove to the world that they were still alive and kicking. Clad in tight jeans and loud T-shirts stretched across their protruding midriffs , each one wanted to show the other one how to enjoy life, with decibel level being a direct proportional. While one tried a wheelie, another pulled out a flashy camera and clicked a third ones instant mid air split. ‘Midlife crisis’, I remarked to Albert with a knowing grin.We had been flinging this term at each other quite often lately.
Some of us are attacked early, and some of us a little late , but all of us go through this phase where life seems to be in a limbo. Everything we’ve done so far feels inadequate, and there is a need re-invent.
‘I think I want to be a wildlife photographer’ , said Albert one day. Apparently his job in the Navy was not fulfilling enough and a dashing young Navy Officer was not ‘what he wanted to be’ . Coming right after his passionate but shortlived stint as a future painter, I didn’t take this very seriously. But what followed was extensive googling about DSLRs, and a serious dent in our fast diminishing bank balance. The much coveted Canon DSLR came into our lives finally on his birthday- an extravagant gift from his loving wife. But little did I guess that it was a part of a bigger plan-A plan to break free.
‘I am going out’, he declared next Sunday morning. ‘Where to?’ ‘To the beach , to photograph the Chinese nets’. ‘What about us?’, I tried to keep the whine out of voice while he looked at me uncomfortably looking for words to soothe a seething wife who had grumbled through the boring week, and whose wretched complaints he had first feared and then decided to overlook. A long break in my career , two babies under two and my recent thirty second birthday had me struggling with a colourful mélange of postnatal depression and associated melancholy.
The diagnosis spewed out accidentally in a fit of anger, ‘Ok, go’, I said bitterly, looking at the two sleeping children who I couldn’t leave behind to join him in this morning adventure. The hiatus in my life made me feel that the whole world was zipping by me in top gear while I gawked at them helplessly. ‘Enjoy your mid- life crisis’.
That evening, strumming his guitar, one of his other new ‘passions’ ,Albert looked strangely thoughtful, a very unlikely expression for him. ‘What’s up?’, I asked enjoying the rare opportunity of a conversation with him alone. ‘Well, wondering how to get both of us to actually enjoy this mid- life crisis. To suffer is a bore.’ I agreed whole heartedly. Life was playing this game with us and to beat it at its own game would give us the thrill we were missing so much.
A new Facebook account, bright green Adidas trainers, Ponds Age Miracle cream and dancing in Zumba lessons with college girls are the tools I have collected in my arsenal. My husband cruises the roads on his newly done up Yamaha RX 100(another dent in our account) ,his new American Tourister backpack stashed with his camera, photography magazines and tripod. Just yesterday he got beaten hollow (9-0,9-4,9-2) by his boss in a squash open match he decided to join last minute overlooking the fact that he hadn’t touched a racquet for year and for which I turned up with both kids to cheer.
We have a long list of holidays planned for the entire year,camping in the Wyanad jungles with the kids and scuba diving in Portblair being top on priority. Short term plans include dumping the kids with grandparents and catching at least 2 movies a week.
Tried a glass of wine last night. Wanted to try riding the new RX 100 right after that, but then thought the better of it. After all , am a mother of two little babies, and need to have my head firmly planted on my shoulders. No silliness, no hanky – panky.
By the way , was wondering whether dark maroon or pink would be a better colour to streak my my hair, any ideas?
