Death Bytes

I had yet another foot in mouth moment this morning .We had gone to the church graveyard to clean Granma’s grave ahead of her death anniversary next week. Crossing the church yard , I saw what I thought was a horse carriage and immediately wanted to give my toddler Rhea a ride in it. My tummy lurched painfully when my angry hubby informed me that it was a funeral carriage.I was terrified at my own suggestion. Looking at the glass covered carriage again , I thought I could see the evil spirits grinning inside .Was it a bad omen? Inspite of my excuse of being a Hindu and thus it being my first close up of the coffin carrier, how could I ever say something so stupid?
Shaken, we entered the graveyard and walked over to Anne Mamma’s grave and started clearing up the weeds. “Why is Anne Mamma sleeping there? Has she become Mar Gaya? Is she happy? ”, came the series of questions from Rhea which I knew would be repeated at increasing volume until replied to. “People, when they become very old, die (become mar gaya )” , I explained , “and sleep in God’s house . Remember I told you that before you came in Mamma’s tummy, you used to be in God’s house? Well, when you become very old and die, you will go back to God’s house. Understood? ” “Okay Mamma”, came the simple acceptance of a two year old.
If life and death were so simple, then why do we fear death so? Why is that the mere idea of a ride in the funeral carriage strikes terror in our hearts? Why is it that we do not like to even think of the death of our dear ones- our spouse, our parents, even worse - ourselves? As we grow older and closer to our final destination, we do everything we can to prolong the journey-even if it means torturing ourselves on the way through ‘healthy fat (and fun) free diets and boring fitness schedules. We apply age defying anti – wrinkle creams on our face lest we are reminded of our upcoming appointment with our creator, when we happen to look at the mirror. We lie about our age and wear clothes that would look silly even on a teenager!
Leaving Albert and my BIL to do the menial job, I sat on the tank nearby with Rhea and Nadia. There was a funeral going on in the corner .As the body was lowered into their grave, relatives sobbed and friends held their hands, trying to come to terms with the loss. The funeral service came to an end, and people started drifting away .The children looked relieved, as they were released from the restraining grip of their parents and could once again run amok- full of life, full of the years ahead. The middle aged had a forced strut in their walk and pasted smiles of confidence as if to prove to themselves that they still had a long way to go.
There was one old woman who looked very sad. “Maybe she’s a close relative”, I thought. But as she crossed me, at the gate she cast a last look at the graveyard and that’s when I recognized the look. It was naked fear. “Was it going to be her turn next”?
Pulling up handfuls of happy and healthy looking grass Albert said,” Imagine the kind of manure these lucky buggers get! And the earthworms and the bacteria must be having a ball down there.” Looking at the funeral crowd over at the corner he remarked, “Cheers guys! There’s some fresh maal there for you”. Fresh Bites or Death Bytes?